File this under NASTY!

So..the dogs butt exploded...you think that i am kidding...well I'm completely serious!

He was licking his butt WAY more then usual so after telling him 5 times to knock it off I picked him up to have a little look. (eewww.. I know.) Anyway, it was red and swollen but I could not see anything else and there was no way I was touching it, plus it was about 9:00 p.m. so there really was nothing I could do about it right then except lock him in the laundry room and see how it looked in the a.m.

So, upon awaking the next morning I checked on him and literally his whole butt had exploded and it was. just. NASTY. I immediately called the vet and got an appt for right after I dropped C off at school.

Could not find the leash so had to carry him ~as far away from myself as I could~ into the vets and give them a look at the puss ridden butt...you just threw up a little didn't you!

End story something about anal glands having to clean them out....he should be doing it himself...but somethings not working....paid $200.00 for them to clean him up....will probably happen again...someone needs to help him clean them....I'm curious if anyone is willing to volunteer for this litte J.O.B. because it sure won't be me!

October's Digest....

Wow, did not realize that it was Oct. 1st the last time I wrote...let's see we have had a couple of things going on..

1. "Lost in Translation"~ Carsen was talking to Wes' dad on speaker phone and this is how it played out.
Grandpa: "What are you doing today?"
Carsen:"Going to work with my dad to play my DS."
Grandpa: "Just being a general pain in the ass?"
~Wes and I were listening and both of us almost peed our pants laughing!~

2. Realized that we may need to stop thinking that it is "cute" when Carsen says "Mank you" instead of "Thank you" and start encouraging him to say it correctly as he actually has a hard time with the "th", "L" and "Sw" sounds....great parenting huh!

3. Flew in the "Vomit Comet" again down to Travis A.F.B. for a graduation then on to Vegas for a friends fun 40th birthday celebration.

4. On the plane ride there we hit a GIGANTIC air bump that caused me to slam my head into the roof of the airplane...when we landed Wes says "Wow that was a big one...I have only hit about 10 of those my whole life." My reply: "Lucky me 2~~YES TWO!~~of those have been with me in the freakin plane with him!! YEA!!!

5. Am giving running a try again...I managed 2 miles yesterday~with the Ipod and at my own pace. Felt....OK! Didn't have to stop once and managed to lap an old couple!

So, there is the readers digest version of the month so far.

Mumbling from a sleeping man..

My goal was to get a head start on today because Wednesday's are crazy for me. So last night I put a rump roast in the crockpot. By the middle of the night the whole house smelled of roasty goodness and since Wes is a talker anyway about 2:30 a.m. he says loudly...

"Just the smell will make you fat!"

I guess that's a good thing right??

Parenting 101

Ok, so how do you keep from laughing while you explain to your 5 year old who is walking around the house singing...

"CHEATER, CHEATER, WHERE'D YOU MEET THAT NO GOOD WHITE TRASH HO?"

that he should probably not sing that song???

WORD VOMIT REMORSE

Hey does anyone else out there ever have this?? You know where something comes out of your mouth and you are not sure why you just said what you did but it's already out there and too late to take it back. Or sometimes you say whatever it is and 30 minutes later after the whole conversation is over and you are running the playback through your head and all you can think is.... WHY? WHY? did I say that?? Did I need to say that? Did it help anything? WHY?!!!!????

%^&&*&^#$* Running

So, as i am headed to my spin class the other morning the husband says (he is flying nights) "why don't you go for a run with me instead?"

uumm...ok.... I guess I could do that.... so away we go....

I would like to say that we jogged side by side, enjoying each others company, got a good workout, etc. but, I just can't lie to you. I SUCK! Seriously, running is so not my sport. You people who love to run are INSANE!! ~Carey~Karen~Alexis~you know who you are! I literaly thought my throat was going to close up and my lungs were going to explode!! The thing that I can't stand the most is it is not my body, my legs are not tired, I am wearing 2 sports bras to contain the girls, everything feels great except my breathing. I get to a point that if I don't stop running and just walk I may pass out right there on the trail. Not good!

We did figure out a way that worked out and plan to do that again in the future. We run together until I can no longer take it then he sprints off a ways comes back and when he gets back to me we take off running together again. We both got a good interval workout but since it was due to the fact that I am such a LLLLOOOSER in the running dept. i'm not sure how i feel about it!

Right back at cha!!!

You know how when you were young and in trouble and your mom used your whole name you just knew that you were in deep poop....well my 5 year old used my whole name on me today in that same sinister voice...

"MOMMY LYNN FRENCH!!!"

1st day of Kindergarten

And so it begins....Monday was Carsen's first day of Kindergarten! He was so excited and I managed to make it through without a single tear!! Weird how I cried over the 5th grader but not the kindergartener!!

He is a smart little guy already and Wes once again tried to use one of his "quotes" on one of our boys with this result.....
Carsen spilled a soda in my car and started bawling...
Wes: Well it's done there is no use crying over spilled milk..
Carsen: "It wasn't MILK!!!"

Birthday??? Christmas??? What???

So, Carsen has been saying some odd things these past couple of days and finally today I caught on to what is going on in that little brain of his. He has been really talking about Halloween and planning his birthday (November) Telling me what theme, who is invited~who is not~(Sarah because she currently has a cold), what he wants. Asking if daddy will be home for Christmas.....(from his current 2 week trip) you get it. Basically, everything that happens in the winter months around here. FINALLY, today I asked him why he is planning all this stuff and his reply to me was.....

"You said it seems like it is going to be an early winter!"

Opps...I guess I did say that!

5th Grade

Sniff....Sniff...

It's the first day of 5th Grade!! I am not sure why it is bothering me except I remember 5th grade. Not bits and pieces like I remember k-4th but I actually remember... my teachers, Krissy and Kimberly my bestest 5th grade friends, my first dance...I even remember the song!! total eclipse of the heart. I guess it is all of these things and now thinking I have a 5th grader. WOW~my prayer last night involved a little of "please God don't let the next 8 years go by too fast" because the past 10 have flown by.

Scrubbing Bubbles

Today I bought one of those new "scrubbing bubbles" gel toilet cleaning/deodorizing things which the boys thought was the coolest thing..... so we squished one in each of our toilets and Carsen says.

"When are those little guys going to come out and clean?"

The funny thing is I remember thinking the same thing when I was little.

G in a Nutshell

So... today we find out who G's teacher is for this next year. It turns out we did not end up with who we requested. The one that Griffen really wanted and who is also the "science" oriented teacher who has a special grant to do a volcano project. Even though oh by the way he was the top science student in his 4th grade class.....but whatever.....when we stopped at the school and read the list today his little face fell and he stated that he does not want the teacher he ended up with she is the meanest teacher ever and now wants to be HOMESCHOOLED!!!!!!!!! Now this is where I begin to say now it won't be so bad. If you follow the directions and are respectful you won't have any trouble at all...blah....blah.....blah.....now these are the words that are coming out of my mouth but the thoughts going through my head sound more like this......

"Oh crap, he is going to be in trouble every frickin day.....i can't have him start out his school year not liking his teacher before we even begin......i will be getting called every damn day.....i seriously don't think i could homeschool him.....what the crap am i supposed to do.....how can i work him into the class he wanted?????aaarrrrggghhhh......."

Fastfoward to this evening after the spouse gets home from work and he is talking to G about having a good attitude about things blah...blah....blah....and

Wes: "Griffen what do you do when life hands you lemons?"

Griffen: (without skipping a beat) replies: "YOU PUCKER UP." (notice the period....this was no question this was a flat out statement from the kid.

Me: hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah......hahahahahahhahahahha.......hahahahahahah

HUGE ACHIEVEMENTS!!!

We have now added 2 more wakeboarders to our family!!! BOTH boys got up on the wakeboard and stayed up even crossing the wake. This is such a huge step for G....he has done nothing but tube for the past oh...I don't know.....8 years!!!! C has tried every year since he was 3 but this is the first time that he has been able to do it. He stays way scrunched down but that board is planed out and he can go back and forth so for a 5 year old it is awesome. He will be throwing back flips before we know it. I would post pictures but I managed to forget to pack a camera for the trip so I am waiting to get the copies from the others that went with us on the houseboat so be watching for them.

Michael Phelps Rocks!!!

Seriously, this dude is A~MAZING!!!! I can not believe his talent. The freaking camera had to pan back just to SEE who was in 2nd place in last nights relay!!! A~MAZING!!!! Here's a funny thing. Both boys are in swim lessons this week prior to the houseboat trip and I swear G is trying to imitate Phelps. I say not a bad role model at all.

Summer in Pictures....

Plea...

Please talk to your "age appropriate" kids about autoerotic asphixiation. It is the pinnicle of the "choking game" It will be uncomfortable to do so but our friends here just lost thier 17 year old son this past week to this and it is the 2nd person that we have known that has died in this manner. Many people have never even heard of it but there is a lot of information online including the exact definition..... I typically don't get very serious on my blog but knowing 2 people who have lost their lives tragically to this is too many.

Are You Freaking Kidding Me???

So, a good friend of mine was staying at another friend's house and found this little wonder of nature. After the screaming ended she decided that my boys would like to see it. So she jars it up and brings it over....now I have this thing living in a jar INSIDE MY HOUSE.....it is called a Jeruselum Cricket or a Potato Bug or my personal favorite and as far as I am concerned more appropriate....SATANS FETUS!!!!! Not only is it the freakiest bug I have see so far but these objects on your screen are NOT larger then they really appear. Look at your pinky finger...the distance between the tip of that finger and your knuckle is about the size of it. If you have abnomally small fingers then double it....seriously, it is THAT big.....Thanks Friend!!!!

A couple of gems.....

While eating breakfast one morning and reading A Thousand Splendid Suns......

Carsen: Mom, why don't you read that outloud to me?
Me: It's not a book for kids.
C: Well, Griffen is a kid.
Me: And I don't read it out loud to him either.
C: Dad's a teenager.
Me: Oh really, so what am I?
C: You are just a mom. (said with a look of "your kidding me right?")

The other happened while camping for a week with a couple other family friends.
We had 3 families all with kids but one has a daughter who is 14 and very cute.
So the boys are down at the playground at the campground and here is the conversation that has been relayed back to me.

Carsen: Mary is HOT!
This is where the conversation ended because Griffen put Carsen in a head lock and dragged him back up to the camp to apologize to Mary for making an inappropriate comment about her. It was a little hard to explain to my 5 year old and my 10 year old that it was not exactly a bad comment....etc...all of this while trying to keep from laughing too hard.

Still Alive and Tired!!!

Sorry...too tired can't write much....went to Vegas....came home....had a local airshow.....Griffen gone to Colorado...not missing us AT ALL....friends just moved here....Pappy working 14 hour + days....redoing G's room.....watching friends girls......squadron friend on bedrest in need of help.....delivered collected meals for her......bridal shower this weekend.....cocktail party for commanders at the wing commanders house on Saturday....need to make appetizer to share.....Carsen has a friend over to spend the night....think I may have a cold or possibly allergies.....so tired......hope I can sleep tonight........was up at 3:30 watching movie as I could not sleep......aarrrgggg.......